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Wild Wave / Insecurely Ambivalent

"If your partner is a wave [insecurely ambivalent], he or she may insist too much on verbal assurances of love and security.  This is the reverse of what we see with an island, who is less prone to seek or even care about such assurances.  With a right brain gone wild, your partner may appear overly preoccupied with their assurances, and appear overly preoccupied with these assurances, and appear overly expressive, dramatic, emotional, tangential, irrational, and angry.  Under stress, a wave can be unforgiving, punishing, rejecting and inflexible.
"During a conflict, a wave will tend to focus on the past and avoid the present and future.  'I can't move forward until we resolve what happened' is a common wave statement.  In all-out war, the wave's right brain get hijacked by primitives and can become threatening by doggedly pursuing a resolution through connecting, now!  In this situation, the connector uses physical and emotional connection as weapons.  Again, it is still sounds like an ambassador, but it acts like a primitive." - Stan Tatkin, Psy.D. in Wired for Love

The way we respond or need love is a product of what we didn't get as a child and in other love relationships.  When we are needy it may feel overwhelming to those around us.  When we recognize it as a need in another, we may be more able to meet that need when we feel more secure in our selves.

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928.
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