Skip to main content

Safe and Nurturing Relationship

“When I see partners in a successfully maintained couple bubble, one standout feature is their ability to care for, influence, and manage one another, much the way expert parents do with their children.  Both partners seem to have read and carefully studied the owner’s manual for their relationship and for each other.  Each is familiar with operational details that no one outside of the bubble is likely to know.
“For instance, these partners know what has the most power to push the other’s buttons.  When the other is feeling bad, they immediately sense why.  Not only that, they know how to remedy the situation.  They know the right words to say, or deeds to perform, that have the power to elevate, relieve, excite, sooth, or heal each other.  From a neuroscience perspective, these partners possess strong orbitofrontal cortices; well balanced left and right brains; well-developed smart vagal sytems; well-regulated breath and vocal control; and honed communication skills that keep love close and war at a far distance.” – Stan Tatkin, Psy.D. in Wired for Love

To be in a safe, nurturing relationship.  Is that what we want?  The majority of us do want that.  Can we be that for another person?  It takes both giving and getting.

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Working with Brain's Primitives and Ambassadors

“Identifying your primitives in action helps to hold them in check.  Now that you know who your primitives are and how they operate, see if you can catch them in the act.  When a red alert is going off, for example, can you recognize it for what is?  I’m not suggesting you will automatically know how to instantly turn it off.  First simply recognize that your amygdalae are sounding an alarm.  This alarm may take the form of your heart racing, palms sweating, face burning, or muscles tightening, or you may notice yourself suddenly becoming weak, slouched, nauseous, faint, numb, or shut down. “Of course, identifying your primitives can be accomplished only by none other than…your ambassadors; specifically, your hippocampus.  By definition, if you are able to notice your primitives in action, they can’t have gained the upper hand.  If they have, it’s too late; better luck next time.  And you can be assured that there most likely will be ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Sex Addiction Recovery

  Sex Addiction Recovery: by Thomas Olschner, Ph.D., The Intimacy Center, Westminster, Colorado The first step: you call for help. You may be in one of the most painful crises of your life. Or you might be calling because your wife thinks you have a problem…and you’re not at all sure that you do. Whatever circumstances led you here, you are wanting to figure out your sexual behavior and what you can do about it. This article is designed to give you some information about what lies ahead for you. At The Intimacy Center we believe that each person’s journey is a unique one but that the commonalities among our journeys make us a resource for each other. With a willingness to be honest with yourself and others you can deepen your understanding of what has gone wrong in your life and gain tools to improve it. How Do I Get Started? At The Intimacy Center we start with a 3-Step process: initial session assessment and development of a treatment plan treatment 1. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Experiences or Toys

"A study conducted by Ryan Howell, an assistant professor of psychology at San Francisco State University, and presented at the 2009 annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, showed that people are made happier by experiences than by things.  So, I suppose, if you are going to spend like you are rich, at least do it on social interactions that will actually make you happy, such as taking vacations or going to the theater.  As an added bonus, Ryan's study indicated that cost is not important; just have a life experience--one that has the added benefit of enhancing the lives of loved ones and friends around you. "One of the things that set wealthy apart from others is that they have a wise variety of interests and activities.  In fact, there is a substantial correlation between the number of interests and activities that people are involved in and their level of financial wealth.  Some wealthy people feel that owning a vacation...
Post a Comment
Read more