Psychology Help Today

"One of the first reactions of a grieving person is the denial of the loss of the loved one.  The loss of the relationship because of addictive involvement generates all those basic human processes involved at separation: hope, denial, anger, despair, and loneliness.  A grieving person resolves pain by acknowledging the loss and reconnecting with others.  Losing a loved one to addiction, however, has the potential of keeping one stuck in the early stages of grief and never coming to resolution.  The addict is still present in one's life even though the loss of the relationship is real.  "Therein is the bind of the 'coaddict,' or the loved one or friend who becomes so involved in the life of the addict that he or she truly starts to participate in the same impaired mental processes of the addict.  As 'courtship goes awry' for the the addict, the grief cycle for the loved one, one also becomes distorted.  By definition, the addict replaces...

After leaving the abuser, we still may ask, "What do I do about the fact that I still love the abuser?" How can that be, she longs to know, as this is the person that injured her, brought her grief...or as some say, ruined her life? What you feel is natural to that experience. When there has been intimate partner abuse, it's usually not about pure love after the fact; it's more about attachment. That is, attachment to the fantasy of what will never happen is now lost. We must allow ourselves this opportunity to grieve. For some, it is more about attachment to the life they lost or the years that have passed them by. Invariably something that was...no longer is, and that's what hurts...the absence of what was once there. It is like an amputee's pain after the limb is removed. The neurons are still firing and the experience of physical pain is quite real. We call it "phantom pain." Which is real pain. The grieving of a bad relationship has many of...