Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928.
"Nearly everyone who is asked, 'What is the proper response to a compliment?' replies, 'Say 'thank you.'' But when actually offered a compliment, only a third of people accept it so simply and smoothly, found linguist Robert Herbert of Binghamton University. "The difficulty lies in the fact that a compliment ('What a nice sweater!') has two levels: a gift component (accept or reject) and a content component (agree or disagree). The addressee is confronted with a dilemma--how to respond simultaneously to both: 'I must agree with the speaker and thank him for the gift of a compliment while avoiding self-praise.' "Contrary to conventional wisdom, women aren't worse than men at accepting compliments. It is the gender of the compliment-giver that most influences the response. Women and men are both more likely to accept a compliment coming from a man than from a woman. When a man says, 'Nice scarf," a...
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