Psychology Help Today

"In business and in life, executing the three types of necessary endings...is what characterizes people who get results.  (1) If an initiative is siphoning off resources that could go to something with more promise, it is pruned. (2) If an endeavor is sick and is not going to get well, it is pruned.  (3) If it's clear that something is already dead, it is pruned.  This is the threefold formula for doing well in almost every arena of life. "The areas of your business and life that require your limited resources--your time, energy, talent, emotions, money--but are not achieving the vision you have for them should be pruned.  Just like an unpruned rosebush, your endeavors will be merely average without pruning.  And here is the key point: by average.  I don't mean on an absolute basis.  There is nothing wrong with being in the middle of the bell curve in many aspects of life, as that may be what success is for that person or at least that dimension of l...

"Leaders are people, and people have issues that get in the way of the best-made ideas, and realities.  And when it comes to endings, there is no shortage of issues that keep people stuck. "Somewhere along the line, we have not been equipped with the discernment, courage, and skills needed to initiate, follow through, and complete these necessary endings.  We are not prepared to go where we need to go.  So we do not clearly see the need to end something, or we maintain false hope, or we just are not able to do it.  As a result, we stay stuck in what should now be in our past.  And these abilities are not only lacking in the world of business.  They appear in the personal side of life as well. "Think of the now ubiquitous "failure of launch" syndrome of those twenty- or thirty- somethings still living with their parents.  They cannot end childhood and fully enter adulthood.  But the bigger issue is often the parents' inability to ...

"Endings are necessary, but the truth is that we often do not do them well.  Although we need them for good results to happen in life and for bad situations to be resolved, the reality is that most of us humans often avoid them or botch them. We hang on too long when we should end something now. We do not know if an ending is actually necessary, or if 'it' or 'he' is fixable. We are afraid of the unknown. We fear confrontation. We are afraid of hurting someone. We are afraid of letting go and the sadness associated with an ending. We do not possess the skills to execute the ending. We do not even know the right words to use. We have had too many and too painful endings in our personal history, so we avoid another one. When they are forced upon us, we do not know how to process them, and we sink or flounder. We do not learn from them, so we repeat the same mistakes over and over. "As you reflect on these reasons, can you think of any situation...

"Endings are also an important factor in our personal lives.  There are relationships that should go away, practices and phases that must be relinquished, and life stages that should come to an end to open up the space for the next time.  A breakup, an ending of some friendships or activities, or an unplugging from some commitments often signals the beginning of a whole new life.  It is a necessary step I refer to as pruning.... "Some endings are not a next natural step but are just as necessary.  We wish they weren't, but they are.  They come about not in pursuit of growth to the next level, but because something has gone wrong.  It's been said that some things die and some things need to be killed. "In a personal realm, we can get stuck in situations or relationships that are hurtful, problematic, or toxic and must be ended.  Or sometimes it is not relationships we need to end but behaviors--destructive patterns and practices that h...

"Today may be the enemy of your tomorrow. "In your business and perhaps your life, the tomorrow that you desire and envision may never come to pass if you do not end some things you are doing today.  For some people, that is clear and easy to execute.   They end the things that are holding them back.  For others it is more difficult.... "Endings are a natural part of the universe, and your life and business must face them, stagnate, or die.  They are an inherent reality....  There are different kinds of endings and that learning how to tell one form the other will ensure some successes and prevent many failures and much misery, ending substantial pain and turmoil that you or your business may now be encountering." Dr. Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings Most endings are hard to do, hard to walk through and seem not necessary.  However, when we hold on to the situations, people or things when we need to let go of them we can then experie...