Psychology Help Today

"As sex and relationship therapists, we know that pornography use is a relationship issue.  Porn affects the user's inner life (the relationship he has with himself), as well as the interactions he has with his partner and other family members.  Regular porn use often interferes with a person's ability to maintain good self-esteem and experience manually fulfilling sexual intimacy with a partner.  Dealing with pornography is not solely about stopping a behavior or overcoming an addiction.  It also involves reclaiming a sense of personal integrity and manifesting attitudes and behaviors that promote healthy sexual intimacy.  Nothing we found in our research discussed pornography use and its repercussions with this type of emphasis." - Wendy Maltz, LCSW, DST and Larry Maltz, LCSW in The Porn Trap Sexual addiction is an intimacy disorder, not about sex but about an emotional issue.  Regular porn use lowers the ability to feel good about themsel...

"Asking a partner, 'What's wrong?' is a bit like asking 'Who are you, again?'  As partners, we should know.  Others may not know and are not required to know, but we most certainly are.  That's our job, and that's why we're paid the big buck!  We do for our partners what others would not want to do because they don't really care. "Of course, our guesses will not be correct a hundred percent of the time.  I'm not suggesting you need to be clairvoyant." - Stan Tatkin, Psy.D. in Wired for Love I love the knowing that he writes about.  We should know the ones we love.  And, too, they should know us.  That is why it takes time to develop real relationships. Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928.

"It is important for you to know your own vulnerabilities, and it is even more important to know your partner's.  Knowing your partner's three or four bad things takes the guesswork out of what distresses him or her.  Not knowing these three or four things can weaken the relationship and make it a dangerous place for both of you.  "... 1. Sit down and think about the issues that deeply affect your partner.  You probably didn't know him or her during childhood, but what has your partner shared with you about that phase of life? "2. Recall specific incidents in your relationship during which you partner became distressed.  In each case, what was the issue that made him or her feel vulnerable. "3. Jot down all the incidents and issues come to mind.  Don't censor yourself. "4. When you've completed your list, go back over it and look for commonalities.  See if you can narrow the list down to three or four main areas of vulne...