Skip to main content

The problem with porn

"But our view on pornography began to change in the mid-1990s.  It was then that we started seeing a troubling increase in the number of clients coming to us with porn-related problems that were interfering with their ability to maintain healthy relationships.  It soon became clear how easily sexual interests and desires could be twisted by pornography, away from real intimacy, and toward technological devices, people and situations that didn't actually exist.  Porn's emphasis had moved from helping couples becoming more sexually intimate with each other to arousing the user to have a sexually relationship with it.

"That's an important distinction: unlike many early erotic videos, magazines, and books that were produced to help spice up lovemaking for couples, porn began to offer itself as the object of desire.  Today's porn teaches users to think only about body parts and specific sexual actions, robbing them of the ability to experience romance, passion, and emotional and physical closeness with a real partner.  It competes with partners as a sexual outlet....

"Because using porn often involves high levels of dishonesty and secrecy, those who are caught up in it often say they feel isolated, ashamed, depressed, phony, morally compromised, and even in some cases, suicidal.  Many are angry, irritable, and unable to sleep.  Some tell us porn is leading them on a dangerous path into illegal and risky activities, such as viewing child pornography, having affairs, having anonymous sex at adult bookstores, hiring prostitutes, and viewing porn at work.  What we have found really troubling is that many of our clients confide that they are unable to stop using pornography even when they are aware of the negative consequences it is having on their lives.  As with alcohol, drugs or cigarettes, this is one of the signs of a true addiction." - Wendy Maltz, LCSW, DST & Larry Malts, LCSW in The Porn Trap

Porn can be an addiction.  It can mess up those lives who are involved with it.  Being a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, I deal with these broken lives every day in my counseling office.

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Retrain Brain

"Consider stroke victims.  Medical science has made huge advances in patient survival after even massive stokes, some of which can be attributed to better medications and to the upsurge of trauma units, since stokes are ideally dealt with as soon as possible.  Quick treatment is saving countless lives, compared to the past. "But survival isn't the same as recovery.  No drugs show comparable success in allowing victims to recover from paralysis, the most common effect of a stroke.  ...with stroke patients everything seems to depend on feedback.  In the past they mostly sat in a chair with medical attention, and their course of least resistance was to use the side of the body that was unaffected by their stroke.  Now rehabilitation activly takes the course of most resistance.  If a patient's left hand is paralyzed, for example, the therapist will have her use only that hand to pick up a coffee cup or comb her hair. "At first these tasks a...

Endings are natural

"Today may be the enemy of your tomorrow. "In your business and perhaps your life, the tomorrow that you desire and envision may never come to pass if you do not end some things you are doing today.  For some people, that is clear and easy to execute.   They end the things that are holding them back.  For others it is more difficult.... "Endings are a natural part of the universe, and your life and business must face them, stagnate, or die.  They are an inherent reality....  There are different kinds of endings and that learning how to tell one form the other will ensure some successes and prevent many failures and much misery, ending substantial pain and turmoil that you or your business may now be encountering." Dr. Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings Most endings are hard to do, hard to walk through and seem not necessary.  However, when we hold on to the situations, people or things when we need to let go of them we can then experie...

Accepting a compliment

"Nearly everyone who is asked, 'What is the proper response to a compliment?' replies, 'Say 'thank you.''  But when actually offered a compliment, only a third of people accept it so simply and smoothly, found linguist Robert Herbert of Binghamton University. "The difficulty lies in the fact that a compliment ('What a nice sweater!') has two levels: a gift component (accept or reject) and a content component (agree or disagree).  The addressee is confronted with a  dilemma--how to respond simultaneously to both: 'I must agree with the speaker and thank him for the gift of a compliment while avoiding self-praise.' "Contrary to conventional wisdom, women aren't worse than men at accepting compliments.  It is the gender of the compliment-giver that most influences the response.  Women and men are both more likely to accept a compliment coming from a man than from a woman.  When a man says, 'Nice scarf," a...