Psychology Help Today

"Although recent trends in youth drug use have shown the first significant downturn in usage level, they remain at high levels, and it has been shown that the earlier drug use is initiated, the more likely a person is to develop drug problems later in life. "Youth substance abuse can lead to many other problems, including the development of delinquent behavior, antisocial attitudes and health-related issues.  These problems not only affect the child, but can also influence the child's family, community and ultimately society. "Recent trends in youth drug use have shown a significant downturn in usage levels.  However, reducing youth drug use remains a key component of the President's National Drug Control Strategy because studies have demonstrated that the earlier drug use is initiated, the more likely a person is to develop drug problems later in life. "According to the 2008 Monitoring the Future study, 19.6 percent of eighth graders, 34...

"One of the first reactions of a grieving person is the denial of the loss of the loved one.  The loss of the relationship because of addictive involvement generates all those basic human processes involved at separation: hope, denial, anger, despair, and loneliness.  A grieving person resolves pain by acknowledging the loss and reconnecting with others.  Losing a loved one to addiction, however, has the potential of keeping one stuck in the early stages of grief and never coming to resolution.  The addict is still present in one's life even though the loss of the relationship is real.  "Therein is the bind of the 'coaddict,' or the loved one or friend who becomes so involved in the life of the addict that he or she truly starts to participate in the same impaired mental processes of the addict.  As 'courtship goes awry' for the the addict, the grief cycle for the loved one, one also becomes distorted.  By definition, the addict replaces...

"In the first major global review of violence against women, a series of reports released Thursday found that about a third of women have been physically or sexually assaulted by a former or current partner "The head of the World Health Organization [WHO], Dr. Margaret Chan, called it 'a global health problem of epidemic proportions,' and other experts said screening for domestic violence should be added to all levels of health care. "Among the findings: 40 percent of women killed worldwide were slain by an intimate partner, and being assaulted by a partner was the most common kind of violence experienced by women. "Researchers used a broad definition of domestic violence, and in cases where country data was incomplete, estimates were used to fill in the gaps.  WHO defined physical violence as being slapped, pushed, punched, choked or attacked with weapon.  Sexual violence was defined as being physically forced to have sex for fear of what th...

A beautiful movie of love, tragedy and survival. [youtube=http://youtu.be/Bgw394ZKsis] Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928.

"Endings are necessary, but the truth is that we often do not do them well.  Although we need them for good results to happen in life and for bad situations to be resolved, the reality is that most of us humans often avoid them or botch them. We hang on too long when we should end something now. We do not know if an ending is actually necessary, or if 'it' or 'he' is fixable. We are afraid of the unknown. We fear confrontation. We are afraid of hurting someone. We are afraid of letting go and the sadness associated with an ending. We do not possess the skills to execute the ending. We do not even know the right words to use. We have had too many and too painful endings in our personal history, so we avoid another one. When they are forced upon us, we do not know how to process them, and we sink or flounder. We do not learn from them, so we repeat the same mistakes over and over. "As you reflect on these reasons, can you think of any situation...

"Endings are also an important factor in our personal lives.  There are relationships that should go away, practices and phases that must be relinquished, and life stages that should come to an end to open up the space for the next time.  A breakup, an ending of some friendships or activities, or an unplugging from some commitments often signals the beginning of a whole new life.  It is a necessary step I refer to as pruning.... "Some endings are not a next natural step but are just as necessary.  We wish they weren't, but they are.  They come about not in pursuit of growth to the next level, but because something has gone wrong.  It's been said that some things die and some things need to be killed. "In a personal realm, we can get stuck in situations or relationships that are hurtful, problematic, or toxic and must be ended.  Or sometimes it is not relationships we need to end but behaviors--destructive patterns and practices that h...

"Today may be the enemy of your tomorrow. "In your business and perhaps your life, the tomorrow that you desire and envision may never come to pass if you do not end some things you are doing today.  For some people, that is clear and easy to execute.   They end the things that are holding them back.  For others it is more difficult.... "Endings are a natural part of the universe, and your life and business must face them, stagnate, or die.  They are an inherent reality....  There are different kinds of endings and that learning how to tell one form the other will ensure some successes and prevent many failures and much misery, ending substantial pain and turmoil that you or your business may now be encountering." Dr. Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings Most endings are hard to do, hard to walk through and seem not necessary.  However, when we hold on to the situations, people or things when we need to let go of them we can then experie...

"As you move toward being fully engaged, you may have to ask yourself, What have I been giving my time to?  If you are spending all your time in mind-numbing activities, it is time to stop those and 'wake up.'  Pick some things  to do that are worth your full engagement and will invite you to be there.  You will be much more fully alive.... "Ask God what is next for you.  It may be something new that stretches you into a flow experience.  Or it may mean getting engaged in what is right before you.  Perhaps you need to reorganize your job description or career so that you spend more time doing what you are best at and what engages you to the max.  Research shows that businesses that use their people that way have the best performance.  Work with your boss to maximize your gifts. "Either way, whether it is showing up more in what you are already doing, or doing some new tasks, do not let time just slowly go by.  Make it go...

"Nearly everyone who is asked, 'What is the proper response to a compliment?' replies, 'Say 'thank you.''  But when actually offered a compliment, only a third of people accept it so simply and smoothly, found linguist Robert Herbert of Binghamton University. "The difficulty lies in the fact that a compliment ('What a nice sweater!') has two levels: a gift component (accept or reject) and a content component (agree or disagree).  The addressee is confronted with a  dilemma--how to respond simultaneously to both: 'I must agree with the speaker and thank him for the gift of a compliment while avoiding self-praise.' "Contrary to conventional wisdom, women aren't worse than men at accepting compliments.  It is the gender of the compliment-giver that most influences the response.  Women and men are both more likely to accept a compliment coming from a man than from a woman.  When a man says, 'Nice scarf," a...

"And remember, life is about the big picture and the small; life goals, five-year goals, yearly goals, monthly, weekly, and daily goals.  I love to not only think about the big picture in my life and work, for the small goals as well.... "And that day will be added to other days that will give me a week's success, a month's success, and so on.... "Make your goals specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely, commonly known as SMART goals.  Dream big, but make that big dream something real that is able to be attained, measured, and can fit into the real world of time and deadlines.  Real, attainable, and structural goals will engage you and help you feel successful along the way. "God made you like him, a person who is creative, has talents, brains, and abilities, and can see into a future that does not yet exist.  Goals will help you bring all those together.  Create your dreams, large and small, and engage your talents and abili...

A funny  - listening to each others feelings is important. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928.

"When we set goals and put legs to our desires and teach them, it definitely does do the heart good.  A listless life that never strives to reach goals can feel lost.  The research says that not only the attainment of our goals but also the pursuit brings joy along the way.  As happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomitsky says, 'People who strive for something personally significant, whether it's learning a new craft, changing careers, or raising moral children, are far happier than those who don't have strong dreams or aspirations.  Find a happy person and you will find a project.'  Further, 'it turns out that the process of working toward a goal, participating in a valued and challenging activity, is as important to well-being as its attainment.... "Not that an entire life can look like the spring of that one week.  Life is a marathon.  But what we know about goals tells us that both the sprints of short-term goals and the marathon of a life...

"Happy people are happy 'now.'  Because they practice all the ingredients we are looking at, they are never dependent on a someday or tomorrow to be the key to their well-being.  They are fulfilled before that upcoming even ever takes place.  They are happy 'now.' "What gives them this ability?  Several ingredients, but first and foremost it is a spiritual discipline of living in the now.  Listen to how Jesus puts it:  ' Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.' "While the Bible certainly tells us to plan for the future, it also tells us to live in the present, each and every day.  Today, or better yet, this moment, is all there is or all there ever will be.  You can never experience tomorrow, ever.  When it gets here, it will be just another moment like today, and if you do not have the spiritual discipline of experiencing the 'now moment,' when it gets h...

"Some people feel that happiness is on some sort of timeline and depends on a later event.  It cannot happen now, because there is a missing piece that has not occurred yet.  But in reality people who think this way do not magically become happy 'when' the 'whatever' it is happens.  They just transfer that mind-set to the next 'when.' - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness It is sad when people live in the future.  There is so much to live in the moment.  The reality that the "when" or "whatever" cannot make them truly happy, they will just be happy maybe for a time before going back into the unhappy state. Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928.

"'We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.' (Heb 6:12) "I love this verse.  It gives one more example of the created order, the way God set up the universe.  He makes promises about life, and then he expects us to do our part and not be lazy.  He promised the children of Israel a 'promised land,' but they had to go and possess it.  They had to fight a lot of battles to get there.  And, little by little, they did.  'Imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.'  God has promised you abundant life, but he has not promised you an abundant life with no effort.  Work on your happiness, take responsibility for it, get moving.  Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who is working within you.  He is doing his part; now you have to do yours.  Don't be lazy! "Since I write books, people often ...

"My experience has been that when people get a wake-up call about their level of happiness in life, their first realization is that they are responsible for their own happiness, and their second realization is that they will need to pursue certain activities.  I have seen many people who, having been stuck for years, finally "get it," wake up, and say, "I do not have to live like this.  I am going to do something about my life."  Then they get busy, and a year later.  I hardly recognize them. "But for that to happen, you have to find the "push."  You have to overcome the entropy and lack of movement that has dominated you for so long.  You have to "do something."  So how you do that? "Other than those who might be clinically depressed or suffering from a real illness of some sort, there are two broad types of people reading this book.  The first is the type who, upon reading what I have written so far, gets up and ...

"Contrast... attitude and behavior with that of happy people.  Those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord!"  instead of "Good Lord, morning," usually do not find themselves in that place by happenstance. They find themselves there by exercising God-given energy, investing their time, moment by moment and day after day, in the activities of building a life that is fulfilling and meaningful.  In effect, they are living out the created order itself.  God designed us to be, in his image, persons who use their hearts, minds, souls, and strength to create and invest themselves in producing life.  They build relationships and use their talents and abilities to achieve things, and God wants to do the same.  He wants us to be active toward life, not passive.  "Happy people are active, not passive, in their pursuit of life. If you look at some to of the activities that research has proven produces happiness, you'll see that it ...