Psychology Help Today

"We've seen that whenever trouble arrive at our doorstep, we're presented with a series of choices.  We start at the crossroads and see three paths: beaten, bitter, or broken.  Do we surrender to God's will or chart our own course?  Do we withdraw into ourselves or accept the Lord's invitation to move into a deeper relationship with Him--'If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in' (Rev. 3:20)? "When trouble arrives and we don't understand why, there is yet another decision we must make.  If we know Paul's secret, we can be confident of making the right choice.  I believe the secret is simply this:  Accept what's happened even if it doesn't make sense, and trust that God is in control ." - Jim Daly in Stronger When trouble arrives, and it will, how we deal with it can help or hinder us.  We don't want to be beaten, bitter, or broken.  We sometimes want to avoid the trouble rather than facing it....

"An injury to one's sense of self forges some bonds.  The self-injury becomes part of the fabric of the relationship and further disrupts the natural unfolding of the self.  When this involves terror of any sort, an emptiness forms at the core of the person and the self becomes inconsolable.  No addiction can fill it.  Not denial of self will restore it.  No single gesture will be believable.  Only a profound sens of the human community caring for the self can seal up this hole.  We call this wound shame. "This part of your recovery agenda looks at how the relationship forced you to devalue the self, and plans for self-restoration to the human community.  Start by making a list of how the relationship devalued you.  Think of  times you felt unworthy, embarrassed, flawed or ashamed.  Make a list of ten sources of shame in the relationship." - Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D. in Betrayal Bond Shame recovery is hard.  We g...

"'What are you doing to take care of yourself?' is one of the most often asked questions in recovery.  Self neglect is one of the common causes of relapse, and it is true that children whose parents neglected them have difficulty taking good care of themselves. "This part of your recovery plan looks at those areas of your life that have gone beyond neglect of yourself and become compulsive deprivation or even compulsive self-harm.  First you need to identify forms of compulsive deprivation or self-harm that existed in the relationship(s) that you worry about." - Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D. in The Betrayal Bond Compulsive deprivation and self-harm comes in many forms.  Anorexia, sexual anorexia, compulsive saving or hoarding. compulsive cleaning, cutting or hurting self, hair pulling or skin picking, body piercing or excessive tattoos, compulsive exercising, compulsive debting or compulsive saving, compulsive working are all example of depriving and ...

“Attempting to usher a young person (or adult) entrapped in substance abuse ‘over the hump’ until he or she ‘gets it’ will turn a well-intentioned mother or father into part of the problem, not part of the solution. “Our first instinct as parents has always been to protect our children.  We guided them as toddlers away from the hot stove, the steep stairs, and the traffic in the street.  Preventive guidance worked then, but no longer. “Here’s the cherry on the top: while marshaling your best efforts against the chaos, you, Oh-Well-Meaning-One, are aiding and abetting a destructive course.  Though every instinct you have exercised as a mother or father is driving you to do anything and everything to derail an emotional and physical train wreck, the ‘conductor’ on this careening ride is the addict.  The more you scramble for solutions, the more you, the parent, are enabling the addictive behavior to progress!  Without realizing what is happening ...

"As sex and relationship therapists, we know that pornography use is a relationship issue.  Porn affects the user's inner life (the relationship he has with himself), as well as the interactions he has with his partner and other family members.  Regular porn use often interferes with a person's ability to maintain good self-esteem and experience manually fulfilling sexual intimacy with a partner.  Dealing with pornography is not solely about stopping a behavior or overcoming an addiction.  It also involves reclaiming a sense of personal integrity and manifesting attitudes and behaviors that promote healthy sexual intimacy.  Nothing we found in our research discussed pornography use and its repercussions with this type of emphasis." - Wendy Maltz, LCSW, DST and Larry Maltz, LCSW in The Porn Trap Sexual addiction is an intimacy disorder, not about sex but about an emotional issue.  Regular porn use lowers the ability to feel good about themsel...

From: Natural Healthy You ‏ @ healthyUdoterra The body doesn't wear down because of age; it wears down because of what we do to it. Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928.

"But our view on pornography began to change in the mid-1990s.  It was then that we started seeing a troubling increase in the number of clients coming to us with porn-related problems that were interfering with their ability to maintain healthy relationships.  It soon became clear how easily sexual interests and desires could be twisted by pornography, away from real intimacy, and toward technological devices, people and situations that didn't actually exist.  Porn's emphasis had moved from helping couples becoming more sexually intimate with each other to arousing the user to have a sexually relationship with it. "That's an important distinction: unlike many early erotic videos, magazines, and books that were produced to help spice up lovemaking for couples, porn began to offer itself as the object of desire.  Today's porn teaches users to think only about body parts and specific sexual actions, robbing them of the ability to experience roman...