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Showing posts from July, 2011

I Love You, I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder

Understanding that 6-10 million Americans have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). There can be a stigma to every Personality Disorder but this one is not as understood. The name Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) originated in 1938 by Adolph Stern. He described a group of patients that didn’t quite fit an existing diagnosis. These patients were classified as past the neurotic stage but not quite psychotic. However these days this disorder is seen in a different way but the name still given the same BPD name. BPD is relatively common, nearly 20% of psychiatric hospitalizations stem from BPD. It affects 10-14% of the general population. Women commonly suffer from depression more often than men and the frequency of BPD in women is two to three times greater than men. A person with BPD can experience depression and anxiety that may last only an hour or at most, a day. While people that suffer with depression or bipolar disorder typically endure the same...

Grieving a bad relationship at EMDR Therapy Denver

After leaving the abuser, we still may ask, "What do I do about the fact that I still love the abuser?" How can that be, she longs to know, as this is the person that injured her, brought her grief...or as some say, ruined her life? What you feel is natural to that experience. When there has been intimate partner abuse, it's usually not about pure love after the fact; it's more about attachment. That is, attachment to the fantasy of what will never happen is now lost. We must allow ourselves this opportunity to grieve. For some, it is more about attachment to the life they lost or the years that have passed them by. Invariably something that was...no longer is, and that's what hurts...the absence of what was once there. It is like an amputee's pain after the limb is removed. The neurons are still firing and the experience of physical pain is quite real. We call it "phantom pain." Which is real pain. The grieving of a bad relationship has many of...

Typical Love Addiction

The typical love addiction demonstrates the most predictable relational patterns for the majority of people who fall into addictive relationships. Time and again they become preoccupied and obsessed with attaining or keeping the perfect person, "soul mate," "Superman," or "Wonder Woman" who will make their lives meaningful and give them unconditional love/positive regard they are so desperate for. Reference http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_addiction. In love addiction obsession, fantasy, and denial they quickly fall into and become infatuated in relationships. Essentially their identity is formed only through their relationship with their partner. Because of impaired boundaries, they are in constant pursuit of merging with their partner; therefore, they become overly dependent ("clingy") and smother their partners. They take all focus off themselves (escaping) while throwing themselves into their partner's life. They try to earn love and...

Therapy Denver - Love Addiction, Avoidants and Types of Love Addiction

Love addicts and avoidants form relationships that inevitably lead to unhealthy patterns of dependency, distance, chaos, and often abuse. Familiarity is the central engine of the love addiction. Each is attracted to the other specifically because of the familiar traits that the other exhibits, and although painful, come from childhood. When the two addictive lovers come together --- a common and predictable relational process is ignited. Rference http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_addiction For more help visit: www.therapy-denver.com This cycle of love addiction encompasses a push-pull dance full of emotional highs and many lows where the one is on the chase (love addiction) while the avoidant is on the run. They both engage in "counterfeit emotional involvement. Healthy emotional intimacy is replaced with melodrama and negative intensity- ironically creating the illusion of true love, intimacy, and connection - usually on an unconscious level. Love withdrawal is when with l...

Therapy Denver - Love Addiction

Love addiction is a human behavior in which people become addicted to the feeling of being in love. Love addicts can take on many different behaviors. Love addiction is common; however, most love addicts do not realize they are addicted to love. Love addiction can be treated with various recovery techniques, most of which are similar to recovery from other addictions such as sex addiction and alcoholism, through group meetings and support groups. The normal process of falling into love addiction begins when a person begins to feel sympathy with another person after going through an initially innocent moment of attraction and automatically idealizes the other to the point of divinity. The individual is then blindly attached to the other person, becoming incapable of making a realistic analysis of the situation; they may project all kinds of illusions onto the other person, believing them to be the only one that can bring happiness. This process can be very quick. For some, this ca...